To Be The Man

I'm writing about me again. Not very couple like I suppose.

Last weekend, Ji went to look at gowns with her mother and sister in New York. They're going to do the same this weekend in Philly. It's a big surreal moment I assume, putting on those dresses, wearing veils, seeing yourself in the mirror as a bride and future wife. Moments like this, they symbolize a passage into grown up womanhood. Its a shared experience from one generation to the next. It's like joining a club.

My question is, what is the equivalent moment for a guy? Tuxedos don't really create much of a buzz. They're elegant and handsome, but you see them at award dinners, gallery openings, orchestra performances (because I go to all of those on a regular basis) and think nothing of it unless you work for the E! Network or People Magazine. Tuxedo doesn't equal wedding. It doesn't have the same cache as the wedding gown. Plus, guys don't really do the whole, "Let's go looking for tuxedos Dad and brother!"

So we've established that isn't the moment. Is it the actual wedding day? Is it when you own your first home? Have your first son? Coach your first little league team? I'm not sure. If I had to venture a a guess, it's when your future father-in-law kisses his daughter and then shakes your hand. He is trusting you with her happiness, heart, and security, something he's always had exclusivity over. Don't screw this up. Your the man now. (And I will find you if you screw it up)

Is that the moment? It must be. Right?

I found my dress

And my bridesmaids' dresses:
































Courtesy of Uglydress.com

Countdown: 202 Days

ok i'm starting to freak out just a teeny bit.
we have exactly 202 days before the wedding and the days just fly by.

Still left to do:
Buy wedding gown
pick bridesmaids dresses
Book Florist
DJ
Officiant
Orchestra (?)
Invitations/Programs
Arrange Accomodations and Travel for guests
Buy rings
Choose food and cake
Accessorize
Makeup and Hair
omg omg omg

This weekend was awesome - full of friends and food (hi bmore ladies!), but now we need to get down to business.
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Went shopping for dresses at Macy's yesterday but wasn't too impressed. However, I did have the oh my gosh moment when they put a veil on me for the first time. It really doesn't hit you that you are getting married until you try on the veil. Such a strange, overwhelming, exciting, wonderful feeling!

Jenny and I also looked at bridesmaid dresses but she looks good in everything so I couldn't choose. She liked an orange strapless gown with a mesh overlay but I'm not sure what my other ladies will think.

Also went to Saks but they were booked with appointments for the next MONTH. They put me on a waiting list but I'm not holding my breath. The gowns were beautiful but cost over $4500! The lady there made me panic because she said it takes 4 to 6 months for a dress to get delivered to the store and then you still need time for alterations. That means I have to find a dress ASAP.

I'm eager to go to RK Bridal because I hear they have a huge selection. The challenge is finding time to do so. Maybe I should take a day off from work.
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Matt got me thinking about Flowers, so here are some that I am considering as the main bloom, with info about it from theknot.com.

Peony: The peony is showy in its lush and full-headed structure, sweet perfume, and bright colors. Despite these traits, the flower became a symbol of bashfulness. Cultivated in Asia for more than a thousand years and developed further by the French, the peony is a cherished wedding flower.



Amaryllis: Brides desiring maximum impact may choose this impressive flower, which features two to five large, trumpet-shaped blossoms that open in succession at the top of its extra-long stalk.





Zinnia: Brides seeking a spectrum of unforgettable color and a causal garden style will appreciate this perky, daisylike flower. The zinnia symbolizes "thoughts of friends," which makes it an appropriate element in bridesmaid bouquets or reception centerpieces.



Ranunculus: Looking for a cost-effective alternative to the rose and the peony? Try the lush, multipetaled ranunculus, a relative of the buttercup. This flower was first seen by Westerners in the Far East around the thirteenth century. Available in practically every color, the ranunculus features several blossoms and a stem with fernlike foliage.


Gardenia: Surrounded by dark green, waxy leaves, the exquisite gardenia exudes a very sultry and heavy scent. It was this intoxicating fragrance that captivated an English sea captain traveling through South Africa in 1754, prompting him to bring home one of the native plants as a souvenir. But the delicate, creamy ivory petals of this expensive flower can bruise easily, so handle with care.

In addition, I've always wanted to use Orange Blossoms in my bouquet. Did you know that they were the traditional wedding flower in Victorian times? I don't think I can get them in September though.

Exciting News

Ji's Aunts from Korea will be attending the wedding. This is a huge deal (13 Hour flight and EXPENSIVE!) and I feel very flattered.

On a side note, none of you have any excuse for not showing up if people are flying half way around the world to get there.

After a bit of a break from the venue search, I feel reinvigorated and am ready to start filling in all the other slots. Maybe I feel this way because I don't have to worry about dress shopping. I will let the ladies do that and then buy them well deserved drinks.

Usually this is Ji's area of expertise, but I'm anxious about the flowers. Wedding planning will make you change. And watching Spider Man dance will make you gay.

The only problem I foresee is my wedding band. I have very jangly fingers where the knuckles are much wider than the fingers. That being the case, it's hard to find any sort of ring that fits. I fear I will get the ring over the knuckle, but it will be spinning around my finger. I am down on my weird hands.

Hello, We're Getting Related - When the Susses visited the Lees

Imagine a blind date.

The awkwardness. The anticipation. The hope that everything will work out. The fear that you'll never get back those three hours of your life. You cross your fingers, take a deep breath and hope for the best.

That's what it's like when the two families of an engaged couple meet for the first time. The only difference is the dates never stop. You are going to be family, and you're going to like it. Or not.

I was surprised by my tranquility. I thought perhaps I would be worried when my parents and sister arrived at the front door of the Lee residence, but it never happened. My lack of apprehension was a bit alarming, and I found myself having one of those sit-com self narratives. "Matt, are you going to get worried soon? No? Well you're no fun!"

Greeted at the door by Mr. Lee, the Suss family was invited to have a seat in the living room. Now what? You know what we need? Small talk. And so it came to pass. Typical things that new acquaintances talk about, mostly and appropriately relating to the engagement and impending wedding. Six strangers and one shy Maltese just figuring it out.

It started off a little slow, but we all found our stride over delicious berries from Bucks County Produce. Before you know it, we were headed to dinner. The first supper if you will.

It's amazing how incredible a social lubricant great food and drink are. Check that...amazing food. Sushi, the freshest sashimi I've ever tasted, Kobe beef in Ponzu, a crab cake the size of a saucer. We ate, and laughed, and really forgot it was our first time all together. Before you knew it, dinner was over and we were headed back to the Lees.

When we returned, coffee was served and any trace of awkwardness that existed we when we last sat down had disappeared. We left for Long Island shortly after to goodbye waves at the front door and the agreement that we would meet some time on the Island.
As we turned onto the DeKalb pike, we were smiling, knowing just how lucky we were. No longer strangers, not even acquaintances, but family.

Without further ado...

Meadow Wood Manor
The Castle at Skylands Manor
Valley Regency
Crystal Plaza
The Manor
Westmount Country Club
The Palace at Somerset Park
The Westwood
Oheka Castle
The Venetian
The Imperia on Easton
Grand Marquis
Stirling Ridge
The Skylands at Randolph
The Estate at Florentine Grdens
The Wilshire Grand
The Park Savoy
Gatsby's at Cresskill
The Gran Centurions

You tried. You impressed. You depressed. You made our heads spin and our stomachs turn. You wooed and wowed...but now you must take a bow. Ladies and gentlemen of the Operation Bo & Po Blogiverse, we have found a winner. Our selction is......

The Rockleigh



Browse the website if you wish. We don't want to give to many details away because we want you to go in with no preconceptions. We think we've made the best selection for our wedding and we hope you agree.

So Phase 1 is now complete. (That's what happens when you make the first payment) Relieved, yes? There isn't much time to come up for air though. Plenty left to do. Still, we have the place and that's a big step.

We'd like to thank the Maid of Honour (!) and the parents of the Groom for the modes of transport on this journey. Your encouragement, energy, and automobiles saved the day. We are indebted. Perhaps a toast is in order?

Oh silly me. When is this joyous occasion?

Sunday, September 21, 2008. That's in seven months. Hell Yeah! Write it down. 11am holmes. We're getting married.

ps. We can now move onto a different topic in this blog. Thumbs up.

pps. The families met last night. How did it go? Where did it happen? What is this fish?

Stay tuned for the next exciting entry: Hello, We're Getting Related - When the Susses visited the Lees

Make a Deal, Share a Meal

Well everyone, we are now finished looking. Broken record. Have I said that before? We mean it this time.

The finalists are in. Some reaches. Some compromises. A lot of negotiating to be done. We refuse to accept your first offers! Everyone will know soon enough the place we have chosen and we hope the day will be a memorable one for all.

For everyone who hasn't gone through this, let me just say that there is no chance you'll visit more places that we have. If anyone tops 21 places, I will buy you a Junior's Cheesecake.

At some point, it all becomes a blur. You're in Charlie Brown's classroom and between the wah-wahs all you hear is chafing dish, white glove, tax, gratuity, here's my card.

Most of these places are good. They are professionals and they know far more about receptions than I ever will. They've recited their speeches so many times, it's second nature. (note: rapid fire type writer style impresses no one) What really separates the good from the great is conversation. The good salesmen include you, they involve and engage you (no pun). We don't like being talked at. We need to feel important, we need our minds put at ease and our egos stroked a bit. It's a huge investment emotionally and financially, putting our dreams in strangers hands. We know it's a game. We are just asking them to play it the right way.

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On to another topic.

Family. As you probably know, Ji and I are very family oriented people. We love our families deeply. Over the years, I've gotten to know the Lee family and have grown to love them. I can't underestimate how kind they have been to me and how gracious they have been in opening up their home to me and incorporating me into their family functions. It has been nerve wracking at times, but I am getting more comfortable with the members of my soon-to-be extended family.

This Saturday the two families are meeting for the first time and I admit that I am nervous. Nervous as most people would be when their families are meeting for the first time. By next year, we're all going to be related, but this is the first step. It's hard to believe that the two sisters haven't even met. It hasn't been intentional, it just never seemed to work out.

So in five days, the Susses are driving down to Blue Bell to share a meal with the Lees. (that's a lot of e's and s's huh?) There's nothing more family than eating together so that is what we are going to do. So now everyone will meet, and everyone will be worried, but everything will work out and some day we will laugh about any awkwardness we may encounter. Good, hardworking people have a lot in common. Family people figure it out. I may be nervous now, but I'm also smiling. I really can't wait.