Exciting News

Ji's Aunts from Korea will be attending the wedding. This is a huge deal (13 Hour flight and EXPENSIVE!) and I feel very flattered.

On a side note, none of you have any excuse for not showing up if people are flying half way around the world to get there.

After a bit of a break from the venue search, I feel reinvigorated and am ready to start filling in all the other slots. Maybe I feel this way because I don't have to worry about dress shopping. I will let the ladies do that and then buy them well deserved drinks.

Usually this is Ji's area of expertise, but I'm anxious about the flowers. Wedding planning will make you change. And watching Spider Man dance will make you gay.

The only problem I foresee is my wedding band. I have very jangly fingers where the knuckles are much wider than the fingers. That being the case, it's hard to find any sort of ring that fits. I fear I will get the ring over the knuckle, but it will be spinning around my finger. I am down on my weird hands.

Hello, We're Getting Related - When the Susses visited the Lees

Imagine a blind date.

The awkwardness. The anticipation. The hope that everything will work out. The fear that you'll never get back those three hours of your life. You cross your fingers, take a deep breath and hope for the best.

That's what it's like when the two families of an engaged couple meet for the first time. The only difference is the dates never stop. You are going to be family, and you're going to like it. Or not.

I was surprised by my tranquility. I thought perhaps I would be worried when my parents and sister arrived at the front door of the Lee residence, but it never happened. My lack of apprehension was a bit alarming, and I found myself having one of those sit-com self narratives. "Matt, are you going to get worried soon? No? Well you're no fun!"

Greeted at the door by Mr. Lee, the Suss family was invited to have a seat in the living room. Now what? You know what we need? Small talk. And so it came to pass. Typical things that new acquaintances talk about, mostly and appropriately relating to the engagement and impending wedding. Six strangers and one shy Maltese just figuring it out.

It started off a little slow, but we all found our stride over delicious berries from Bucks County Produce. Before you know it, we were headed to dinner. The first supper if you will.

It's amazing how incredible a social lubricant great food and drink are. Check that...amazing food. Sushi, the freshest sashimi I've ever tasted, Kobe beef in Ponzu, a crab cake the size of a saucer. We ate, and laughed, and really forgot it was our first time all together. Before you knew it, dinner was over and we were headed back to the Lees.

When we returned, coffee was served and any trace of awkwardness that existed we when we last sat down had disappeared. We left for Long Island shortly after to goodbye waves at the front door and the agreement that we would meet some time on the Island.
As we turned onto the DeKalb pike, we were smiling, knowing just how lucky we were. No longer strangers, not even acquaintances, but family.

Without further ado...

Meadow Wood Manor
The Castle at Skylands Manor
Valley Regency
Crystal Plaza
The Manor
Westmount Country Club
The Palace at Somerset Park
The Westwood
Oheka Castle
The Venetian
The Imperia on Easton
Grand Marquis
Stirling Ridge
The Skylands at Randolph
The Estate at Florentine Grdens
The Wilshire Grand
The Park Savoy
Gatsby's at Cresskill
The Gran Centurions

You tried. You impressed. You depressed. You made our heads spin and our stomachs turn. You wooed and wowed...but now you must take a bow. Ladies and gentlemen of the Operation Bo & Po Blogiverse, we have found a winner. Our selction is......

The Rockleigh



Browse the website if you wish. We don't want to give to many details away because we want you to go in with no preconceptions. We think we've made the best selection for our wedding and we hope you agree.

So Phase 1 is now complete. (That's what happens when you make the first payment) Relieved, yes? There isn't much time to come up for air though. Plenty left to do. Still, we have the place and that's a big step.

We'd like to thank the Maid of Honour (!) and the parents of the Groom for the modes of transport on this journey. Your encouragement, energy, and automobiles saved the day. We are indebted. Perhaps a toast is in order?

Oh silly me. When is this joyous occasion?

Sunday, September 21, 2008. That's in seven months. Hell Yeah! Write it down. 11am holmes. We're getting married.

ps. We can now move onto a different topic in this blog. Thumbs up.

pps. The families met last night. How did it go? Where did it happen? What is this fish?

Stay tuned for the next exciting entry: Hello, We're Getting Related - When the Susses visited the Lees

Make a Deal, Share a Meal

Well everyone, we are now finished looking. Broken record. Have I said that before? We mean it this time.

The finalists are in. Some reaches. Some compromises. A lot of negotiating to be done. We refuse to accept your first offers! Everyone will know soon enough the place we have chosen and we hope the day will be a memorable one for all.

For everyone who hasn't gone through this, let me just say that there is no chance you'll visit more places that we have. If anyone tops 21 places, I will buy you a Junior's Cheesecake.

At some point, it all becomes a blur. You're in Charlie Brown's classroom and between the wah-wahs all you hear is chafing dish, white glove, tax, gratuity, here's my card.

Most of these places are good. They are professionals and they know far more about receptions than I ever will. They've recited their speeches so many times, it's second nature. (note: rapid fire type writer style impresses no one) What really separates the good from the great is conversation. The good salesmen include you, they involve and engage you (no pun). We don't like being talked at. We need to feel important, we need our minds put at ease and our egos stroked a bit. It's a huge investment emotionally and financially, putting our dreams in strangers hands. We know it's a game. We are just asking them to play it the right way.

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On to another topic.

Family. As you probably know, Ji and I are very family oriented people. We love our families deeply. Over the years, I've gotten to know the Lee family and have grown to love them. I can't underestimate how kind they have been to me and how gracious they have been in opening up their home to me and incorporating me into their family functions. It has been nerve wracking at times, but I am getting more comfortable with the members of my soon-to-be extended family.

This Saturday the two families are meeting for the first time and I admit that I am nervous. Nervous as most people would be when their families are meeting for the first time. By next year, we're all going to be related, but this is the first step. It's hard to believe that the two sisters haven't even met. It hasn't been intentional, it just never seemed to work out.

So in five days, the Susses are driving down to Blue Bell to share a meal with the Lees. (that's a lot of e's and s's huh?) There's nothing more family than eating together so that is what we are going to do. So now everyone will meet, and everyone will be worried, but everything will work out and some day we will laugh about any awkwardness we may encounter. Good, hardworking people have a lot in common. Family people figure it out. I may be nervous now, but I'm also smiling. I really can't wait.

Groom Room

"Show up and look nice."

That phrase was relayed to me by one reception hall guide this past weekend. Apparently, this is the job of the groom. Show up and look nice.

So where does a groom get all niced up? Certainly not at the reception hall. Of the 16 odd places visited, I've seen one room for the groom to prepare. I use the word room loosely. More accurately it was a mirror, a bench, and a door. Nice. At another place, Ji inquired where I would prep. She was told, "We'll figure it out." Oh ok.

Grooms, no one is concerned about you. No one thinks it's your day. You do show up, and you look as nice as you can. The bride has a team, you're sequestered so that the bride doesn't see you. You're the cool calm guy, ready in 15 minutes for the biggest day of your life. Bring a magazine.

In no way am I discounting the needs of the bride. The hair, the nails, the flowers, the dress, the jewelry, it's easy to see why bridal suites need to be bigger. I'm just wondering when it was decided it was ok to slight the groom when it comes to accommodations.

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Flash poll: Bride and groom seeing each other before the wedding - No way or ok?

Us, Simpsonized

Sunday Done-Day

After one more weekend of rounds, a decision will and must be made. The finalists are in, but maybe we'll get surprised with a new contender. Also a second visit to a previous stop has been scheduled. I'm not sure how many places a typical engaged couple visits, but it seems as if we have really gone beyond. In all, 16 places will have been visited. Was it exhausting? Yes. However, I'm glad we have seen so many because it never hurts to be thorough. Thinking that we didn't give ourselves enough options would have irked me.

This is the major hurdle. How many times we've heard, "Once you pick the place, then all the fun stuff starts." I hope. It feels like time is flying by. You know what...it is. We've been engaged now for 40 days. I say we're due for some of the fun stuff.

On a side note, my people skills are improving dramatically. I have these appointment skills down cold. I'm not as big a talker on the actual tours, but on the phone I'm a dynamo. The one time I was really good in person was when I was really annoyed. Maybe that's the secret. Go into the meetings ready to get down to business. Lesson learned.

Hardcore wedding tour '08.

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Valentine's Day is next week...don't sleep.

And for the flowers....

Don't fret ladies, you'll look great in your orange dress holding this loveley arrangement!



See you all soon...

Fall Fashion

With the Fall 2008 NY Fashion week going on right now, I can't help but think about dresses and shoes and accessories for the wedding. Even though I really shouldn't think about these things until we have a date and venue.

Look at all these orange dresses I found, bridesmaids!




Orange is HUGE this year.

P.S. Don't worry, I wouldn't REALLY make you wear orange...Or would I?

If you'd like to leave a message....

Among the most frustrating things about planning a wedding is the amount time you spend leaving messages and getting messages. I've been tagging with one place for at least 10 days now. There appears to be no end in sight. The phone tag has also been in conjunction with e-mail tag (e-tag? cyber-tag? tag-mail?).

The problem dealing with these places is that the people you need to consult with are either giving people tours, planning receptions, dealing with vendors, dealing with an endless stream of already paying customers, or only work three days a week.

I really would just like to have my appointment made today. Until then, it's freeze tag for this couple. Brrrr.

ARGH!

The voice of calm is getting hoarse.

I've done a pretty good job so far with this planning stuff, but today everything is just frustrating me. I can't find any more places to visit, I'm waiting to hear back from a strong potential, and I'm worried we may have to choose a place we like but not love, which is a little disappointing.

I know everything will work out. It's just been particularly exasperating.

Where are we going to live! Oh man.