Wedding Traditions

People keep asking me if I am going to do the traditional Korean ceremony (Paebaek) during our wedding. As much as I like piggyback rides and having chestnuts thrown at me, I think we'll stick to the regular ceremony.

However, I'm open to incorporating other traditions during our day. For example, I just read that cranes represent a long, healthy life, so maybe we'll have some paper cranes added to the tablescape (new word I learned from wedding websites).

Also, it's Korean tradition to give the newlyweds a pair of wedding ducks, which represent three things: Peace, Many Children and No Separations. Source So maybe we'll have these displayed somewhere:









This got me interested in other wedding traditions besides the well-known "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue." So I researched some German wedding traditions and Irish wedding traditions too.

So for our wedding, Matt will wear a kilt, we'll saw a log after the ceremony, drink mead, and get some ducks and cranes.

Sounds like a party to me.

Pretty things I want

I am obsessed with the details.

Now that the big stuff is out of the way, I can focus on the fun stuff I love: invitations, decor, flowers, favors... all the little details that make an event memorable. Only problem is, all the special details I am thinking of don't work with our date and time and budget.

For example:

1.

I've always loved lanterns and lamps, and wanted to have a lot of lights hanging to cast a romantic, soft lighting effect. Problem is, our wedding will be in the morning and the room will be flooded with harsh sunlight. So there's no point in having lanterns at all.

2. Our theme is ORANGE because to us, orange means love. The color. The fruit. I want orange EVERYWHERE! So I've been looking for favors, decorations, food items, flowers, etc. etc...all in orange. I wanted orange blossoms, but nothing blooms in September, only in spring. I wanted kumquats, but they're only in season from November to April. I wanted mini orange scones but I would have to bake them myself with a pre-mixed dough. I've spent way too many hours googling wholesale distributers of orange-related items. And they all tell me that their orange products are not available when I want them. I am blue.

3. I thought orange poppies might be a good flower choice. Bright orange flowers with dark centers - they would look so sophisticated in blue vases like these (they come in blue):

But a) I cannot afford these vases ($35-$59 each, BoConcept) and b) Poppies symbolize death and sleep. Not a very good choice to celebrate a wedding.

4. I wish I could rent special linens and tableware because the standard ones are just so boring. Something like this:

I designed this at www.weparty.com, an event rental place in PA. I love the silverish greys and the modern china and stemware. It would be great to get unique table settings like these, but this is also not in our budget.

SIGH.
So far, I've come up with a lot of unrealistic ideas - I need to start being practical and get things checked off my to-do list. But it's fun to daydream...

Get Gone

It seems strange, but this past Easter was the first opportunity my extended family had seen Ji since our engagement. Going in, I expected that everyone would wish their congratulations, see the ring, ask the same questions everyone (mostly everyone female) wants to hear. Obviously there was plenty to discuss, especially since one particular garment of interest was purchased just the day before.

I refer to said garment in such inconspicuous terms because it is TOP SECRET!

Bells! Whistles! Alarms! Hands over my ears LALALALALALA style.

I am to know nothing about this item. Not where it's from, how much it cost, what it looks like, what it's made of, what color it is, when will it be ready. For my guess, it could be a sequined fuschia number from Awesome Bride Depot.

I get the secrecy though. You want that wow factor. When the doors open and she's ready to walk down the aisle you want that impact, the emotion, the moment. I want that. So maybe I should have expected the reactions I garnered two days ago.

Overwhelmingly, the most popularly directed phrase directed at me was, "Go away."

So I would, knowing I had lost my partner to another tet-a-tet about an article of mystery clothing. Many times, wandering aimlessly between the buffet and the basketball, I found myself in conversational limbo enjoying a sneak preview of life with a future bride planning a wedding. You've never met anyone so famous.

You've also never met someone who has to listen to so many stories about the weddings of the people talking, weddings of their friends, cousins, neighbors, co-workers, cohorts, copilots, and coal miners.

Yes, It gets a tad tiresome to be told to get lost, but that's the easy part. I don't have to tell the same story over and over again. When they find out I am involved in the planning they are shocked. And I get credit for picking out a ring we found together. Not bad at all.

So future grooms, todays lesson is this: "It's not that they don't like you, they just like her more. Don't take it personal."

Enjoy the invisibility. Smile.

I'm not with the Band

We're not getting a band for the wedding entertainment, but it didn't stop us from watching their promotional DVDs. I can't express the joy we experienced watching these professionals sing more contemporary numbers. Umbrella, Crazy in Love, and Hurt by Christina Aguilera? Is there any explanation for how awkward a song this is for a wedding?

Can you imagine? Hey band, what I really want you to play is that song about blaming your dead father for stuff that was all your fault. What exactly do you follow that up with? Dead Bodies Everywhere by Korn?

I am sure I may make some quizzical choices when it comes to music (and hopefully I will get reigned in before embarrassing myself) but that is a downright bizarre choice.

Now I just have to convince Ji not to let them play the Cha Cha Slide.

To Be The Man

I'm writing about me again. Not very couple like I suppose.

Last weekend, Ji went to look at gowns with her mother and sister in New York. They're going to do the same this weekend in Philly. It's a big surreal moment I assume, putting on those dresses, wearing veils, seeing yourself in the mirror as a bride and future wife. Moments like this, they symbolize a passage into grown up womanhood. Its a shared experience from one generation to the next. It's like joining a club.

My question is, what is the equivalent moment for a guy? Tuxedos don't really create much of a buzz. They're elegant and handsome, but you see them at award dinners, gallery openings, orchestra performances (because I go to all of those on a regular basis) and think nothing of it unless you work for the E! Network or People Magazine. Tuxedo doesn't equal wedding. It doesn't have the same cache as the wedding gown. Plus, guys don't really do the whole, "Let's go looking for tuxedos Dad and brother!"

So we've established that isn't the moment. Is it the actual wedding day? Is it when you own your first home? Have your first son? Coach your first little league team? I'm not sure. If I had to venture a a guess, it's when your future father-in-law kisses his daughter and then shakes your hand. He is trusting you with her happiness, heart, and security, something he's always had exclusivity over. Don't screw this up. Your the man now. (And I will find you if you screw it up)

Is that the moment? It must be. Right?

I found my dress

And my bridesmaids' dresses:
































Courtesy of Uglydress.com

Countdown: 202 Days

ok i'm starting to freak out just a teeny bit.
we have exactly 202 days before the wedding and the days just fly by.

Still left to do:
Buy wedding gown
pick bridesmaids dresses
Book Florist
DJ
Officiant
Orchestra (?)
Invitations/Programs
Arrange Accomodations and Travel for guests
Buy rings
Choose food and cake
Accessorize
Makeup and Hair
omg omg omg

This weekend was awesome - full of friends and food (hi bmore ladies!), but now we need to get down to business.
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Went shopping for dresses at Macy's yesterday but wasn't too impressed. However, I did have the oh my gosh moment when they put a veil on me for the first time. It really doesn't hit you that you are getting married until you try on the veil. Such a strange, overwhelming, exciting, wonderful feeling!

Jenny and I also looked at bridesmaid dresses but she looks good in everything so I couldn't choose. She liked an orange strapless gown with a mesh overlay but I'm not sure what my other ladies will think.

Also went to Saks but they were booked with appointments for the next MONTH. They put me on a waiting list but I'm not holding my breath. The gowns were beautiful but cost over $4500! The lady there made me panic because she said it takes 4 to 6 months for a dress to get delivered to the store and then you still need time for alterations. That means I have to find a dress ASAP.

I'm eager to go to RK Bridal because I hear they have a huge selection. The challenge is finding time to do so. Maybe I should take a day off from work.
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Matt got me thinking about Flowers, so here are some that I am considering as the main bloom, with info about it from theknot.com.

Peony: The peony is showy in its lush and full-headed structure, sweet perfume, and bright colors. Despite these traits, the flower became a symbol of bashfulness. Cultivated in Asia for more than a thousand years and developed further by the French, the peony is a cherished wedding flower.



Amaryllis: Brides desiring maximum impact may choose this impressive flower, which features two to five large, trumpet-shaped blossoms that open in succession at the top of its extra-long stalk.





Zinnia: Brides seeking a spectrum of unforgettable color and a causal garden style will appreciate this perky, daisylike flower. The zinnia symbolizes "thoughts of friends," which makes it an appropriate element in bridesmaid bouquets or reception centerpieces.



Ranunculus: Looking for a cost-effective alternative to the rose and the peony? Try the lush, multipetaled ranunculus, a relative of the buttercup. This flower was first seen by Westerners in the Far East around the thirteenth century. Available in practically every color, the ranunculus features several blossoms and a stem with fernlike foliage.


Gardenia: Surrounded by dark green, waxy leaves, the exquisite gardenia exudes a very sultry and heavy scent. It was this intoxicating fragrance that captivated an English sea captain traveling through South Africa in 1754, prompting him to bring home one of the native plants as a souvenir. But the delicate, creamy ivory petals of this expensive flower can bruise easily, so handle with care.

In addition, I've always wanted to use Orange Blossoms in my bouquet. Did you know that they were the traditional wedding flower in Victorian times? I don't think I can get them in September though.