How's It Going?

That's pretty much what everyone is asking right now.

Bluntly, it's going. Which sucks. We're getting married and the "it's going" feeling is really the last thing you want to feel. You want to be happy and excited and all of that good stuff. It's just emotional fraying, as we're being spread very thin and are getting exhausted. It's a test for sure, the most worthwhile one I can imagine, and one in which we will persevere stronger as a couple. I'm confident of that. But do we really not get to have any fun until September 21st?

We want so badly for it to be a beautiful, memorable, unforgettable day, that our friends and family will remember and be (selfishly) impressed by. We want it to be full of personality and emotion, a day that reflects who we are. We want people to smile and to say to themselves, "That was very Ji Eun and Matthew." In a good way! And that's the hard part.

It's been frustrating because it is the first time for both families and no one is quite sure what their roles and responsibilities are. We are partly to blame for not making it very very clear what we expect. It's our first time too, and sometimes we feel bad doling out responsibilities. Maybe we're just selfless or maybe we just don't trust anyone with out vision. It's really both. Regardless, learning from this experience is really worthless to us. It's a luxury we reap none of the benefit of. You don't get to learn. This is it. One shot to make it everything you want. (Shaking hands) That's pressure.

We aren't exactly dealing with a large window to plan things out, as we are just now about six and a half months removed from engagement. Such a small time line to get things done, coupled with details that pop up every day has made for a lot of stress and anxiousness. One thing gets done, ten more details pop up. Straightforward things fracture off into a a tangled mess.

Our favorite thing right now is "Why didn't you..." I dunno. Because we already took care of it, reserved it, made plans, etc. We can't change it. We can't go back in time, so please support us and our decisions. This is what we want. What we really need is help before we make final calls.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Love is the greatest thing on Earth. Wedding planning is Sisyphean. It's an uphill journey. We can't wait to get rid of that boulder and to start on life together. I can almost see it now. Or is that just Queens?

I would be remiss if I didn't thank everyone that has helped, because we do appreciate it. So thank you for everything you've helped us with, the kind words of encouragement, and patience, and for caring.

More blogs to come. If our heads don't explode.